I used to be embarrassed to tell people my goals and hopes for the future. At 22 a lot of people tend to start asking what your long-term plans are and I always get the feeling that when I tell them mine there’s a moment of “that’s cool, but seriously what do you want to do?”. As I start to learn more about myself I realize that most of my critics are really just looking for small talk, and their doubts are merely my own projected into something I can better understand. This can be a little sobering, as the realization means that 90% of my dissonance and friction are coming from inside, and I can be a pretty stubborn guy when I put my mind to it. However, the good news is once you’ve defined the enemy you can channel that inertia from paralysis into productivity. If doubt insists on being a devil on my shoulder then at least I’ll know where to aim when he needs to be flicked away.
The way I’ve started to deal with this is to a set aside hour or two a week that I call “Evaluation Friday” (currently looking for cooler names). The concept is that as I go through the week and face a variety of challenges, opportunities, and “why not” moments, when the little guy gives me a million reasons to say no and stay stagnant I can say to myself “If there’s something that needs to be re-evaluated, we’ll do it on Friday, but right now I have things to do”. The “evaluation Friday” trick has been all about helping me to confidently reach out and move forward in my goals without having to worry about winning an inner-wrestling match at every turn. Doubt can be good too, of course, which is why I’ve set aside a time to look at the ups and downs and make room for course correction when necessary. I’m only about a week into this, so I’ll admit it could end up being full of flaws, but I’ll keep you updated on how this plays out. Point being, I’ve realized self-doubt has been a huge weight on my life and I’m due to lose a couple pounds.
Part of the story is a personal civil war, but the other part is trust in the realms uncontrollable. I used to think that trust was contentment in an unknown future, but I’m starting to think that a lot of the time it might actually be more like taking a chance with the faith that even failure can be a stretch of a road worth traveling. Last Sunday my pastor hit a well-timed point when he said “God can’t drive a parked car”. I’m sure God could still make things happen, but I like the visual. I guess what I’m saying is that lately I’m encouraging myself, and maybe you, to go out and take your chances with confidence and high hopes. There’s no shame in dreaming big, and it’ll be ok if you land in unknown territory. As it’s been said before, the journey is the reward. I want “doubt less, do more” to be one of my 2012 mantras, because maybe God likes to use un-parked cars. Detours and all, I hear He’s a pretty good driver.
And yea I know that’s a cheesy closing line, but that’s just who I am today and I’m stinking proud of it.
My good friend won a trip to Chicago through CMT, so here’s a little bit of our 24 hour trip!
Just ordered the first physical copies of the “Anything Less” EP! We’re excited to debut them at our 12th & Porter show here in Nashville on the 26th this month!
Last time I was in St. Louis. Kind of like a pretty “Where’s Waldo”.
Sometimes we sound like this…